hfbrew

So pleased for you and your ds. Long may you enjoy saying my son is a professional Ballet dancer! Congratulations to all graduates everywhere who have managed to get that elusive first contract!

I am so glad your daughter is recovering and thank you so much for sharing your story.Its important for all of us to realise that boarding for some will not work out. There will no doubt be others who will need guidance from you and your brave daughter as to whether a bout of homesickness is actually an indication that they would be better at home or a different school. I do find it reassuring that your daughter is grateful to you for being allowed the opportunity to try it though. And whilst Ribbons words may well have been off putting it does highlight the need to be fully prepared for such a big step as vocational boarding school at 11. As someone has said its easy to be swept along by it and some children may not really know that its what they want. For example one of my pupils is a talented ja but I can see that vocational school next September is that step too far at the moment. But my ds would have probably have walked to WL - it was entirely his choice (our own plans were quite different.) All this from a simple question on bow to deal with homesickness!

Thats a good idea Belljul. It may well be a way of keeping such information in one place. The moderators seem to be forever having to provide links to old threads on the subject. Please remember everyone that the moderators are unpaid and busy people who take the trouble to read all the posts,it must take hours. It takes me long enough to try and keep up to date and thats skimming over many topics! So thankyou mods and I hope some of these ideas might save you time in the long run!

Sounds like a good plan billyelliot I still suffer a bit from reverse homesickness but at least my ds seems to realise I need to hear from him occasionally. And its made me more thoughtful towards my own mum. I still feel a bit guilty at how she used to complain that I never bothered to let her know I was safe when I went back to Hammond by train...Im afraid it just didnt occur to me!

Yes and I have sadly met many with such issues but not necessarily because of being sent away to boarding school. (and I do of course know that for some this is exactly the case and not always for their best interests but for others)But I have taught many youngsters who have sad family issues such as neglect or abuse- a far cry from all of us here who make every effort to what is best for our own children whatever it may be and are prepared to help with homesickness issues in whatever situation.

Have had funny, and yes sarcastic reply just now from my son to the question of whether he is institutionalised dependant! Won't repeat it all but after joking that he has to text parents and friends non-stop and that "facebook and twitter are his home haha " ,his point was of course boarding affects your character but its all to do with individual experience of that coupled with parenting,and friends,and teaching.If anything it makes you stronger. He also said that fear of those things (institutionalism and dependancy) does more to generate them anyway. Incidentally I wish he did text more often!

Well if all the happy, successful and fulfilled people I've ever met who have gone to boarding school are institutionalised and dependant on a particular environment then, well I wish I had gone away myself at 11!! So rest assured dtadmin, most children in my experience who have gone to boarding school come out of it as very well adjusted individuals indeed! And as far as vocational schools are concerned I am sure the vast majority of us parents on this forum take steps to ensure that our children do know that there is life away from Ballet- it certainly wasn't the case that my ds "knew nothing else during his formative years" ! Just because an individual is homesick doesn't mean that a boarding school environment is bad for them. As has been pointed out homesickness is an unpleasant experience that can occur at any age and in different circumstances. My dear mum gets homesick whenever she goes away and so avoids any break longer than a week. Similarly I've been homesick just this last week for my mum now that she is ill even though its 30 years since I actually lived with her. So we should all think of ways to cope with homesickness rather than doubt ourselves for the well intentioned decisions we have made to help our wonderful children have the best opportunities that we can manage. Just had text from ds saying heat addled the whole of his company tonight but still had good show...now having sing a long on way home.. off to the Isle of Wight next week... Well that's actually a very happy young man doing what he has always liked best, sorry rambling now but like JulieWs handsome son most emphatically very independent and as far from institutionalised as you can get!!

Can vouch for everything Pas de Quatre says. In my area for example I teach at two separate schools but have close links with two others. Three of my teaching colleagues either teach for or run other schools, another is very close friends with a teacher at another school again! And yes from time to time we are asked by another couple of schools to host exams. Dance teachers do have a code of conduct and I am generalising here but part of it is to do with not encroaching on another's business which is why there can be caution displayed by schools when approached by another teachers pupils. Luckily I work for schools that are not over possessive and we have lists of teachers we happily recommend if we cant fulfil a pupils requirements. But out of courtesy we do check if a student attending say, Advanced 2 has permission from his/her teacher if we are aware that that student attends other schools.

As Ive said before on this forum(so forgive me old friends for repeating myself), I was once a parent dead set against boarding school and the idea of hothousing at a young age. Thank goodness for a wise head teacher friend who said "but what if its what he wants?" And what if he turns around at 18 and asks why wasn't he allowed to go? Boy am I glad my ds did go away and was allowed to be his own person. But there is no easy answer to homesickness is there and it can be suffered at any age. A pros and cons list as Julie described previously is a very good idea. If the pros far outweigh the cons then the person is in the right place for them and can put plans in place to cope with the cons. And the parents left at home must remember that they are not redundant (though it may feel that way) My way of coping was lots of silly little parcels of jelly babies and comics plus extra hours of work to pay for everything!

Well said Julie. And our lives would have been all the poorer if my ds had never met you, your family and your ds and all the other lifelong friends he made. And our sons are professional Ballet dancers! How mad is that?!

And I have seen the long term effects on adults who were not supported and therefore denied the opportunity to follow their dreams at the appropriate time. I think giving children the opportunity to sample boarding school life at summer schools is a very good idea. Its a good indication whether they are ready to go full time- any doubts then its best to wait until they are older. As has been frequently pointed out on this forum it is possible to wait until 16 before commencing full time training. Not all children will thrive in a boarding school. But the same could be said of any school!

Not just the mum. The extra strong glue that holds things together and is there every step of the way either physically or in spirit. However long the journey is.. And yes it goes well beyond the training, professional life can make the training look like a party! By and large its those with supportive parents who make it through. So to all brilliant mums and dads on this forum thankyou for understanding your childrens needs to dance.

One word texts? No news for days? Too busy to see parents never mind talk? Next to no worthwhile information about the day/month/week/year? Parent at home with glass of something staring at phone sending texts like "remember us? we are your parents!" or "have you lost your phone?" All the time feeling that a bit of you missing... Yep, entirely normal! Thankfully ds very happy most of time. Its awful having a very upset child on end of phone but thankfully it didnt happen often for us (but very dramatic when it did.) Fortunately ds had amazing house staff who went out their way to help when necessary and didnt mind the old phonecall from us to check if ds ok. Eventually came to arrangement that if ds called on given day we wouldnt pester him the rest of the time. Years later ds also said that he found it easier not to have constant reminders of home,it helped him settle.

Not all apprenticeships are unpaid! They are often reduced pay and basically act as a training period if a dancer is not deemed quite ready for a full contract for example.

Definitely contact the school. If you are applying send forms with polite request to avoid certain weeks if possible. Many applications may have been received now so I wouldn't be surprised if some auditions are already full and there is therefore no need to put them on website. But this is conjecture, always best to contact schools directly! ,

I had several of my male students do this and they loved it. Especially the chocolate biscuits...

Yes,he is doing quite enough. At this age they are looking at potential and suitability for training. There is a danger that a child doing so many hours could become too trained in a particular way or style and that will be counter productive if a school feels that they can not train them "their" way instead. My advice would be firstly to make sure he is really enjoying it and that this is what he wants. Is he flexible physically because if not then that is what needs to be worked on. Good luck.

Information for this can be found on Royal Ballet School website. I clicked on events and open days (I think!) Then clicked on outreach events and scrolled down... It says classes for boys who havent ballet but I now know that they are also doing a class for those who HAVE danced the same day. Please contact Laura-Jane Lavender at the outreach department of RBS if interested.

You do not need permission to leave a dance school anymore than you would need permission to leave a shop! However you may have to give a term or half a terms written notice, this is certainly part of the contract that pupils at the schools I work at have to adhere to. Having said that pupils do "disappear" and there is little one can do about it. But then as Spanner says its a small world so its best to do things by the book. For example one parent in our area tried to move schools without payings fees and the look on her face when she saw me assisting at another place was priceless... But we teachers do not own the students, so having fulfilled whatever commitment you have in terms of notice, you are free to go where you like!

True. But then thats probably the case of some participants whatever their ethnic background. However these children would still possibly not have got their chance to dance otherwise. The vast majority of parents do not consider dance lessons for their offspring.

I hope they announce the casts for Sadlers Wells soon.

Well said Spanner!

Never said they were! (In response to comment about ABT saying anything about a quota) As I said the ABT scheme looks great. But I was responding to topic question about the Royal doing a similar project. And yes many are benefitting from projects designed to help those on low incomes, but many, many more are not. Id like to encourage EVERYONE to at least give Ballet a try!

Www.french-can-can.com

A couple of ds closest friends started on chance to dance and are now professional ballet dancers. And they are by no means alone! However I believe that chance to dance quite rightly doesnt just cater for children of certain ethnic backgrounds even though the majority seem to be. And those who make the grade as dancers do so because they genuinely have talent not because the fulfil some desired quota. There are thousands from all walks of life to whom starting Ballet wouldnt occur to them and even if it did wouldnt be able to afford it. The ABT looks great but I would like a scheme that was inclusive of encouraging talent from all backgtouhds/situations.